Sophia's world

笑笑 ：婚了么？ 
   
毛 ：随便找一个结了，做人也没啥意思

笑笑：啊？已经结啦？也不通知一声 
 
毛：就登记一下就行了啊

笑笑：什么叫"随便找一个结了，"，真不像话 
 
笑笑 ：不办酒了？不是喝不到你的喜酒了？
 
笑笑 ：老婆哪里的啊？ 
 
毛 ：简单的搞了一下，

笑笑 ：过分！不请我  
 
毛 ：她是XXX公司的 
 
毛：我不想麻烦你啊 ！ 
 
笑笑 ：没阶级感情！
 
笑笑 ：哼！ 
 
毛 ：不要这样吗，哪天请你到新家里玩好吗

笑笑：恩，这还比较像话 
   

笑笑 ：你的新房在哪儿啊？ 
 
毛 ：在比较偏僻的地方

 

笑笑 ：那也可以啊，自己有房产 ，多好啊 
 
毛 ：我贷款了20万啊，要15年还，每月还1500啊！

 
笑笑 ：你和你老婆一起嘛，应该没问题啦 
 
毛 ：我们自己管自己的，贷款自己还的

笑笑：啊？？？结婚了还自己管自己/？
 
笑笑 ：你们俩都住的呀，当然要一起还了啊 
 
毛 ：是啊，我们准备每个月每人交4-500当日常费用，其他自己管自己的

笑笑 ：还有你们这样的夫妻啊，哈哈，分这么清楚
 
笑笑 ：很时尚啊，不过。 
 
毛 ：不知道好不好先这样过着吧！

 
笑笑：你们什么时候结婚的啊？ 
 
毛：十月份

笑笑 ：怎么一点都没有新婚的感觉啊，听你这话说得。呵呵 

 

毛 ：是啊！两个人还经常吵架，有时候还几天都不见面的

笑笑 ：不会吧！！那还结什么婚啊！ 
 
毛：家长催的呗，年纪也大了该结婚了呗！

笑笑 ：但是这样结了也不幸福啊！
 
笑笑 ：你肯定不爱她。 
 
毛：慢慢磨合吧，过的去就算了。做人就这么回事。

笑笑：你现在说话好像五六十岁的人哦 
 
毛 ：是老了啊，都30多了

笑笑 ：P！ 30多就老啦？ 
 
毛 ：我的很多同事他们小孩都很大了。

 
笑笑 ：那又怎么样，我们同学小孩也很大了。但是如果不爱她，在一起生活会很痛苦的！ 
 

之后他就不再谈论自己的婚姻，开始扯别的话题。看得出来这个新婚才2个月的男人并不幸福，我也感觉到他并不爱他的妻子。因为他不止一次的说道，做人就那么回事，也没啥意思，凑合一下吧。我不知道既然如此，为什么还要结婚。既然你并不爱她，硬要和她生活在一个屋檐下，不是一天两天，是余生，有意思吗？开心吗？如果为了社会和家人的压力与一个自己不爱的人结合，我宁可独身。也许会有一些“过来人”倚老卖老的说，你还年轻，不懂生活，那么多的夫妻，不都是凑合过来的嘛。的确，我还没有走进这个围城，我无权在这里对别人的婚姻评头论足，但是在我看来，结婚的理由只有一个，那就是爱，发自内心的想和你爱的那个人在一起，分享所有的快乐和忧愁。不管别人说我幼稚也好，不成熟也好，我就是这么看的，即使这只是相信爱情的年轻人的幼稚想法，那至少证明了，我还年轻 ：P

 

再转念一想，我还是很幸运的，至少即将与我成为夫妻的那个人是我爱的，不是“凑合过”的。想到这里，我真高兴。

 

These days i lead a very simple and routine life , even boring maybe. Life = work, home, study, net. Nothing more. If only these 2 months would fly as 2 seconds and then i am already at the airport to meet my lover again.

Today I met an old friend and had a short chat on QQ. He told me last year that he would get married soon. Therefore we had the chatting concerning the marriage, well ,not a serious conversation ,just a free talk, here is the some part of the chatting file :

I :  Married ?
He: Yes, grabbed a woman to get married, that is life.
I: Married already? why you didn't tell me ?
He: well, just signed the marriage contract.
I:  Grabbed a woman? hey , seems not seriously. Just getting the certificate, no wedding you mean?
He : We had a wedding ,but only a small one, no big ceremony or somthing.

I: Where is your new house?
He: In XXX, anyway i am in debt, have to pay 1500 every month for the installment for 15 years.
I: It is OK, 1500 for a family is not so high,you and your wife can afford it.
He: With wife? No, I pay it alone.
I: Why? she lives in this house too, she should share the debt.
He: No, we do not share. We both put 4  or 5 hundred together to pay the daily expenses,nothing more. All the others are seperately.So the debt is mine, not hers.
I: ( surprisely) You guys are not like husband and wife , anyway, that  is the style you two choose.Maybe it  is not bad, I hope.
He: I dont know if it  is good or not, just try.

I: When did you get married?
He: Oct
I: Oh, just bridal , but why from your words I could not feel any happiness and excitement that a newly-married man should have ?
He: No, we have quarrel very often,as when we were bf and gf. And sometimes we do not see each other for a few days.
I: What? then what the hell reason you married her?
He: For the pressure from my parents, and also I am at the age to get married.I have to.
I: But if you dont love her, you could not feel happiness in your marriage.
He: We will try to get used to each other,that is it , see if we can tolerate this kind of life. Anyway, that  is life.
I: It is like the tone of a 50-year-old man. You are not old yet!
He: I am old , I am over 30
......

After that he deliberately switched to another topic and then he logged off. I feel obviously that he is not happy. But as a man got married 2 months ago, he ought to. He repeated several times " that is life". I am almost sure he does not love his wife. This marriage is the result from the pressure of his parents and the society. He is not the only one around me. Someone got married cos of the unexpected pregenancy accident, someone married cos of he/she is at the marriage age. In my eyes, marriage without love is doomed to be a tragedy and live with a person that you dont love with all  your heart is miserable and  torturous. The reason to get married can only be LOVE , that you want to live with this person the rest of your life, share all the experience with him/her, either good or bad. And for me I only want to say that I want him to be the first thing i see when i open my eyes every morning, it is too simple to be a season of marriage,but it IS, at least for me. It sounds too naive that the reason for the most important thing in my life could be so easy but it really matters.

I am lucky, cos I will marry simply cos of love, not of the pressure or whatever. I am lucky, I am happy.